Bah Humbug

Yawn...sigh...yawn...

Aren't the holidays supposed to be bright & cheery and uplifting? Why then, may I ask, do I seem to be literally on the verge of snapping? Fatigue? Perhaps. Strain from children's degrading attitudes and lack of willingness to co-exist? Most likely. Overwhelmed with things to complete in an almost impossible time frame? Definitely. I am tired, and desperately in need of a break.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not one to complain. There is almost always a smile on my face, a perky attitude, an optimistic view shared, a super mom playing with her kids, and a willing helping hand offered. Right now though I feel more like Mr. Scrooge, and I hate it.

My days are rushed from 5:30 a.m. until 9:30. There is not a single minute where I feel like I'm doing anything that I choose...that's on my OWN accord. Obligations & responsibilities consume every second leaving little time for me to stop & smell the roses. I hate that as soon as I get home I have to go outside & let Jadyn play (or deal with a 30-40 minute temper tantrum). I hate that I feel that way. I feel like there are SO many more things I need to do...cleaning the house, the kid's tanks, preparing dinner...that letting her play outside is a waste of time. Not to mention the MILLION other things that I would LIKE to do...scrapbooking, reading, nothing. There isn't anything I can do outside, and I just picked her up from playing all day. Gosh, I HATE feeling that way!! I feel like right now my life is so hectic that even going to boot camp is becoming another pain in the butt (no pun intended) because that is time "wasted" when I could be getting other things done.

I don't even have family coming in for Christmas, which would really put some light at the end of the tunnel. I miss my sister & mom. I even miss my brothers. Even as I write this I'm thinking, "What's wrong with you? Snap out of it. You're fine." but I don't feel it. Someone please shake me. Tell me that it will all work out in the end. Tell me that Paige's terrible pessimistic & angry attitude will suddenly change. Tell me that Coleton will take that little devil off his shoulder & replace him with a halo. Tell me that Jadyn will be understanding that Mommy can't play with her every minute of the day. Tell me that I will get through the holidays with a clean house, completed projects, Santa lists checked off, deadlines met, pleasant children, a smaller waistline, a happy home, and in one piece.

Even if you don't mean it...just tell me.