Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Favoritism over love?

The NY Times recently conducted a new poll that revealed 65% of mothers admitted to having a favorite child. The local radio stations were appalled that such could be the case, and even more so that mothers would admit it.

One caller shut them all up when she said, "You're acting as if the words love and favor are interchangeable. I don't think they are."

I completely agree.

On most any day in our house, there is one child that has been better behaved. At that time, on that day, that child is my "favorite". One of my children is currently on his own and making very, VERY poor decisions. I love him and support him any way that I can, but his actions disappoint and worry me. I pray every night that he will soon make his way back into my "favorites" circle, but I fear I will continue waiting for a while to come. All I can do is let him know that he is loved.

There are days when all of my kids are excellent. Loving, cooperative, respectful and playful. On those days, they are all favorites. However, there are also days when they're all little snots and find the invisible switches inside their heads that turn off their ears and manners. On those days, I try to sell them.

Then, as is more commonplace, there are the days where the younger kids cuddle, love, listen and help where as the older child continues to profess how cruel and unfair we are and how she can't wait to turn 18. On those days, she is NOT my favorite. But I still LOVE her.

Despite their behavior, despite their appalling attitudes at times, I love them all the same. I love knowing that even though they choose to defy my orders, they're learning to think for themselves. I love that despite their poor behaviors, they're learning to be held accountable for their choices. I love that, usually, 10 minutes after an argument or meltdown, they're able to pick themselves up, dust themselves off, apologize and move on. I love watching them become their own people, figuring out what works for them and what makes them happy. I love seeing first hand how they think, what logic makes sense to them, and watching them figure out things for themselves.

What a unique and indescribable gift it is to be a mother. What an awesome miracle it is to see your children grow up, knowing that they all came from the same genetic makeup but are all so completely different. What fun it is to face each and every day knowing that you love them and that they love you.

While it may be true that all of my kids may not be my favorite every day, they do know that I love them regardless. And, let's face it...chances are, if one child isn't my favorite that day....I'm probably not their favorite either.

Friday, September 23, 2011


Webster defines the word GORGEOUS as:


  1. 1. Imposing through splendid or various colors; showy; fine; magnificent.

I’d quite have to agree.

My life can be redundant at times. Monotony reigns strong in our tightly packed schedule: wake, school/work, homework, sports, bed, wake…

Still, I am blessed in more ways that I sometimes remember with my beautiful, brilliant, tender-hearted children. They remind me how very important the little things in life are. They remind me that things that I sometimes blow out of proportion really aren’t THAT bad. They remind me that sometimes an unexpected hug is just the right dose of medicine for a grumpy attitude. They remind me that it’s OK to be silly, and to make messes, and stay up a little past bedtime to finish “one more story”.

My life is very stressful right now. Without being too specific, we’re going through some pretty difficult times and dealing with some struggles that affect our immediate and extended families. It’s so easy to get lost in worry or depression. Easy to lie awake at night with a heart full of worry and fear of what tomorrow may bring. But, I thank God so much for giving me my 3 little blessings, who raise my spirits every time I see them. My children, who are carefree and completely unaware of our stresses, allow me to unwind and forget about them when they plead for me to play. My 3 angels straight from Heaven; who continue to shower me with appreciation and love, constantly reminding me of what really matters.

This morning, as we were on our was to Jadyn’s school, we had the following conversation:

Me: What a gorgeous day!

Jadyn: What a gorgeous life!

Me: What a gorgeous little girl named Jadyn!

Jadyn: What a gorgeous God!

As soon as we stopped the car at her school, I took my angel, straight from God, and gave her the biggest, best hug I have ever given. How did she know that I needed to hear that today?

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Nazi Mom

You know, during my 14 years experience as a Mom, I've developed a near perfect sense as to when my kids are sick, and when they're just a little under the weather. I can tell you if a kid has the flu or if they just ate something that didn't sit right. I can tell you if they have a cold, allergies or just a sore throat. I can tell you by their cry alone, without even seeing them mind you, if they're really hurt or just playing it up to get a sibling in trouble. A Dr., I'm not, but I've always been pretty confident that my sickness/crying detection skills were pretty accurate.

Yesterday, Paige woke up with an upset tummy. She didn't want to go to school. Last year, if you tried to MAKE Paige stay home, she wouldn't have. If she were DYING FROM MALARIA, she would have gone to school. This year, she's kind of been playing the sick card a lot, and I think it has something to do with Flo....threatening to make her premiere introduction.

Anyway, trying to appease my "sick" 12 year old drama queen, I took her temperature, pressed on her belly, asked her the typical sick questions (where does it hurt, are you nauseous....). Additional interrogating revealed that she bought school lunch yesterday AGAINST MY INSTRUCTIONS. Final "Mom Diagnosis" was that she was probably suffering some sort of bodily crap-food rejection. I told her that if she was nauseous, she would probably feel better once she got the up-chucking done. 10 minutes later, she threw up. I told her she still had to go to school. (Yeah, did you read the title of this post?)

Between the 15 minutes after she threw up and when I had to leave, she was fine. I told Coleton to call me if she threw up again (since I can't always trust the words from a "sick" kid's mouth). 5 minutes after I left...Coleton called me. I talked to Paige, who thought she was dying. I told her that she was going to be OK in about 20 minutes, and to try to go to school. (Again, refer to the post title). I called her back 10 minutes later, and she still claimed to be ill. I thought, "maybe I was wrong?", so I let her stay home.

It just so happened that Elmo took an 1/2 day yesterday, and got home around 9:30 Upon entering the house, he found Paige, who as you may recall was on her death bed, eating a big bowl of cereal and playing Wii. He said she looked happy and as healthy as any kid ever did. He continued to update me throughout the day with healthy reports of our once dying daughter.

I'm so glad she's going to be OK.

There are a few lessons learned:
1. My inner mom sickness skills are still 100% accurate and I should listen to them. Even if it makes me appear to be Nazi Mom.
2. One should not disobey their mother and buy school lunch when they're told not to.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

50 Nifty United States....

In grade school, we learned a cool song listing all 50 states in alphabetical order. If you were to ask me to recite it today, I could still get you all the way to Ohio. For some reason, after Ohio, I can't remember how the song goes.

Anyway, my point is, it was a method that worked at the time, and stuck with me some 25 years later.

I saw on Wednesday last week, written as a side note in Coleton's agenda, that there was a "State" test on Thursday. When I asked him what he needed to study, he replied, "I don't know...the states." (Yeah, boy genius over here) I tried to get him to be more specific: flags, birds, trees...but he didn't seem to remember what exactly he needed to know. I'm so glad that he's such an astute student.

On Friday, we found his corrected the bottom of his bookbag...with a big "F" in red. Turns out what he needed to know was WHERE each state was in the US. Ah yes. I remember that test.

After scolding him and grounding him for 2 weeks for failing something we easily could have studied for, I found another note that said, "Make-up test Monday." Guess what we did all weekend?

We studied the states.

Coleton started off knowing where 17 states were. By his first practice test, he only missed 16. By Sunday night, he FINALLY scored 100% on my version of the test.

We got his test back yesterday...and I was optimistic since Coleton brought it to us and I didn't have to search it out.

My boy got a shining 100% complete with a smiley face.

It's amazing what a little studying can do.

P.S. ~ As an added bonus, not only can I recite all 50 states now (maybe not in song) but I can also tell you where they are on a map.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

For my kids, a recollection of 9/11/2011

My dear children,

Today is the 10 year anniversary of the worst US catastrophe of my, and your, generations. Today our family all watched numerous documentaries of what happened, and I couldn't help but shed tears again as I was reminded just how terrible, shocking and surreal the event itself was. It was difficult at first for you, Coleton, to understand why it made me so emotional, but as we watched actual footage of the day, you began to understand.

Every year on this day, you briefly learn in school about what happened, but so many details are left out. So many details that, until now, I think you were all too little to handle or comprehend. This year however, 10 years later, I think you finally understand.

You're both (Paige & Coleton) very curious to know what we were doing that day. If you asked me what we were doing this time last month, I don't think I could tell you, but I remember the events of 9/11/2001 like they were yesterday and don't think I'll ever forget.

We lived in Phoenix, AZ. Paige, you had just turned 2 and Coleton, you were almost 3 months old. I was working from home back then, and at that moment getting Erik (then 10) ready for school. It was about 6:00 am, when our neighbor Erica called me crying and told me to turn on the TV. When I did, I saw that one of the twin towers was on fire, but it was still unclear what had happened. Within 5 minutes, I saw a plane hit the other tower and explode. I couldn't believe what I had seen. I called Dad, who was at the lab working, and he told me that they were watching it too.

By this time, the news anchors were reporting that terrorists had hijacked several planes and that the crashes were both deliberate and ongoing. From the cameras that were covering the news, it appeared to be a movie. Frighted people ran from the scene in an attempt to save their lives, escaping the towers any way they could; many even jumped from windows to their death. I could not believe, could not comprehend, what was happening in the city that I once called home.

Throughout the day, I never turned off the TV. I didn't get any work done. I held you both and played with you, so very thankful for our lives and praying for the lives of those who were in New York. Planes continued to crash, one in a field in Pennsylvania and the other into the Pentagon. All remaining flights were grounded, and no one knew if more planes were going to crash. It was such a scary and insecure feeling to know that we were not safe.

After about an hour, the first tower (South) collapsed. It was terrible. People were running for their lives as ash, debris and metal fell around them everywhere. People were white when the dust settled, many bleeding, all crying and scared to death. There were firefighters and police everywhere trying to do what they could to help, but many of them were hurt or coughing from the dust also. Shortly thereafter, about 30 minutes later, the North tower collapsed. The footage from the collapse, recorded a loud rumbling, a quickly approaching cloud of darkness, followed by silence, hearing only falling debris and coughing. The aftermath was far more gruesome, somber and paralyzing than any Hollywood film could recreate.

The entire world stopped to watch it.

The entire world cried for the lives lost.

Every American cried for their fallen citizens.

I took your pictures that day, so that you can always remember what you looked like on the day we went to war. The day when countless lives were lost. The day that Americans banded together to declare "NEVER AGAIN".

Friday, September 9, 2011

Playing Catch-up

I interrupt this 2 year silence for the following announcement....


I cannot believe it has been so long since I last blogged. I mean, I can because I haven't been blogging, but where does time fly? Days, weeks, months and even years have been flying past as if they're only minutes, and I can't believe how big the kids are getting.

Most of anyone who reads this is in my life one way or another, so the happenings of the Trevino family aren't much news.

Paige is in 7th grade and has 3 male teachers. Between me & you, I think she has a major crush on one of them. Funny...I had a teacher named Mr. Leeds for English my 7th & 8th grade years that I thought was the cat's meow too! She, as expected, is excelling in every aspect. The kids brought home their progress reports yesterday, and she has all A+, except in Language arts, which she has an A-. I am very concerned for her (insert sarcasm).

Her volleyball season started up again this week, and once again I have volunteered myself to be her coach. This season, we're in the 12-14 division, which means a few things.
* we can FINALLY be competitive rather than tell the kids it's only about having fun
* we get (have) to play by the real rules of the game, not the silly modified rules we've been following
* the girls have all (but 2) played 2+ seasons, which means we can jump right in and play rather than teach.
* these girls are FINALLY tall enough to block and spike, and can better understand how to set!

We're very excited to see how we progress. I was so pleasantly surprised when I met the team Wednesday.

Mr. Coleton is still my ball of love and humor. He is definitely the most optimistic and light-hearted of the kids. He is in his 3rd season of tackle football, but it may well be his last. He has his sights set solely on basketball, which is odd to me. He is pretty talented when it comes to sports, so no doubt he'll do well, but I will miss his football days if he sticks to his decision to only play one sport. Currently, he is playing the kicker and defensive line positions, and is occasionally asked to play running back. Most days he gives 100%, but there are some days that you can see his heart is not there. I try to reason with myself and give him a is still 110° here and he is in full pads, long pants and heavy socks. I don't think I'd give my all either.

The boy, as we call him, is in 5th grade this year, the last year in his elementary school. He is the only one of the kids to have been in the same school since Kindergarten. When we walk around on campus, EVERYONE knows Coleton. It's rather amusing. My little B.M.O.C. He is such a likable kid, wants to please and so easy going (most of the time) So far, this year, he's doing very well; 4 A's & 2 B's. We're very proud of him because, unlike Paige, Coleton really has to work to keep his grades up. We're on him like flies know.

Miss Diva, I mean Jadyn, started Kindergarten this year. I know I've said it before, but I have to say it again, she is the PERFECT blend of Paige & Coleton. She is so so so smart; willing to learn and absorb any and every piece of knowledge you have to offer. We put her in early this year for that fact since she's already reading. I didn't see the point in holding her back a whole year just because she missed the "5 year old" deadline. Luckily, in AZ, you can test a child into charter school kindergarten early, as long as they're 5 by Dec 31. She was very shy on the initial assessment, but apparently made up for it with her academic knowledge, because she passed the test! Now, she's 1 month into the school year and LOVES it. Her teacher, Ms. Banks, is such a delight, and entertains the kids will all kinds on silly voices and antics. Jadyn loves her to death and thinks she is the bomb diggity.

Jadyn is also a natural dancer. You should see this kid. I don't know where she gets it from, it sure ain't her parents! This year she is in 3 dance classes, Intro to Dance (ballet & Tap), Hip Hop, and (my personal favorite) Acro 2. Why do I add the "2" in there? What does it mean? I'm so glad you asked! The class she's in is a 6-7 year old class, to be part of by INVITATION ONLY after Acro 1 is complete. This is a big deal. Why? Because not only is Jadyn only 4, but she has never taken Acro of any sort. The teacher of the class had been watching Jadyn cartwheel herself around the studio without my knowing and asked her to be in the class. I love it! The strides this little girl has made in only 2 months is remarkable. She can fall into a back bend by herself, do handstands and headstands, 1 handed cartwheels, and so much more. She amazes me, and I dare say I will NEVER get tired of watching her perform. She's a natural beauty, and she melts my heart every day.

As for the ole' ma & pa of the family, we're both doing well. Not really much changes on our front; our lives' sole purpose is to serve the kids, right?!? Well, that's what they tell us any way.

I am, if you're interested, embarking on a new path to weight loss and health. I'll blog about it HERE

Be sure to check it often to see how I'm doing!

Monday, August 3, 2009

School is now in session

Today was the first day of school for the kids. Man, where did the summer go?

Both Paige & Coleton were very excited to start again, and I would be lying if I said that I was sad to see them go! Paige got all fancied up with a stylin' new "inverted bob" haircut and I gave her chunky highlights last night.