One thing I hate, having married into a family, is the ridiculous idea that some people have in their minds that I have to choose one side or person over another. Why? Why can't people I love just understand that sometimes in our lives we have to be more than one place at a time and which place we choose does not directly or indirectly reflect the way we feel? I simply can't understand why family, who's main purpose in life is to love and support each other, makes it so difficult for others to make a decision based simply off of what they want, not recognizing that it is not a direct attack on others?
And, so if I HAVE to choose, why then am I punished and criticized for choosing a person or side based on how they have treated me? Why should I be forced to side with a person who repeatedly goes out of their way to make me KNOW that I don't mean anything to them? Why is it fair for me to shed COUNTLESS tears over someone who doesn't give me or my emotions a second though, and then made to feel bad that I "choose" to surround myself with family who cares?
I know this doesn't make sense to anyone but me. Sometimes it's helpful to just lash out and write it down.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Monday, July 27, 2009
Oh how I love my little cherubs
You know, I really don't know how I ever got to be so lucky in life. Really...I don't. Was I a Saint, or an angel or just really good in my former life? I'll never know. What I do know is that God has blessed me with a life right now that I wouldn't trade for a hundred gazillion dollars, or anyone elses life for that matter...EVER.
I've said it before, and I'll say it (and think it) until the day that I die, I LOVE being a mom. Yes, it has its (daily) challenges, and yes, sometimes I want to jump off a cliff, but at the end of every day, as I kiss my kiddos goodnight and tuck them in, I am at peace. I am without question, without hesitation, truly and honestly happy and complete with where I am in life.
Ithink know it is so important to not only TELL your children how much they mean to you, but to SHOW them so that they FEEL they are loved. I pray that I am doing a good job of that.
Just some recent examples of things that have made me so proud to be mother to my sweet little cherubs:
Paige, my strong willed, outgoing, too-mature-for-her-own-age child, recently made my jaw drop to the floor in amazement during a conversation this weekend. All summer, I have been...um...enticing...Paige & Coleton to behave for their summer sitter by promising an END-OF-SUMMER sleepover with a friend of their choice. (School starts next week!) This past week, Paige had been calling her friends to see which of them she wanted to invite. After she chose, she called up her friend and invited her. Her friend said that she could come, and that she would call her on Friday for directions and further instructions. All day Friday , Paige waited on pins & needles for her friend to call. When I asked her if her friend had called yet, Paige (who has spoken of NOTHING else all summer but this sleepover) said:
"No, she hasn't called yet. Maybe she won't call because sometimes parents change their minds. I can't really be mad at her because she can only do what her parent's allow. If she can't sleepover, it would just be nice if she would call me to let me know. Communication is very important."
Um, yeah. Like I said, my jaw was on the floor. This came from my daughter who CRIES at everything....and I do not use that word loosely....literally EVERYTHING. I can't believe how mature Paige handled the extreme upset that her friend hadn't called by the time she said she would. I was beaming with pride as I stood there and listened to my 10 year old daughter rationalizing possible scenarios as to why her friend hadn't called (all the while, I'm sure, trying to convince herself that she would still call.) As luck would have it, her friend DID end up calling (a few hours late) and the sleepover went off without a hitch...another milestone for my daughter, who in sleepovers past, has had such attitude that the "girls" are no longer on speaking terms by bed time. She continues to amaze me with her maturity and physically growth every day. Of her, I am so extremely proud.
Coleton, my sweet, yet trying, 8 year old goof-ball, never fails to make me smile. Though he more often than not these days fashions horns and a pointy red tail, he somehow manages to make them appear more angelic after a 10 minute time out. His ability to display comic relief after (or during) an offense, gets him off the hook from what ever crime he's committed, and (though I am not proud of my inability to remain firm to his punishment) I am so thrilled to know that his amazing personality will always shine through and help him, and those around him, push through trying times. He is my sensitive, sweet little boy, who still feels comfortable climbing in my lap to read a book or watch TV. Who, despite being surrounded by the cool neighborhood kids, still gives me a hug & kiss when I bring out a snack and tells me I'm cool and that he loves me. My son, who tells me 3 times after I've already kissed him goodnight, that he wants one more hug. My natural born athlete, who has difficulty reading, a short fuse leading to emotional meltdowns, and the ability to charm a room full of strangers. I love him more than words can say.
And Jadyn. Oh my sweet little girl. How did we ever live without you? There isn't a single moment in any day that I don't just look at her and think, "My gosh. I love her." I don't think that there is any pleasure on this earth greater than watching a child grow. From the moment they are born, everything they do, everything they say is simply awesome. I think from the moment she was born, I knew I would cherish her growth the most. Not because I love her more, but because I know she is my last baby. Her first's will be my last, and I knew that every "first" would be tied together with my memories of last firsts. Her first year of life was trying...she was such a difficult and colicky baby. But now...my goodness...she brings me such joy. She is such a good little girl...so smart, so funny, and such an angel. Her facial gestures are so animated...you need not ever question how she's feeling. Her memory is so sharp, a characteristic I don't remember with Paige or Coleton at this age, and she can recite conversations or sentences from books only read once even a week after they were said. Her thought process is just precious...already proving to have a "type A" personality, by asking me to plan out the day as soon as her little eyes open, or asking, "And when I wake up....?" (waiting for me to finish her sentence). She is the most well-behaved, level headed, and well-rounded 2 year old I have ever met. She very rarely throws tantrums, she listens very well to everything we say, is EXTREMELY polite & well mannered, and just plain good. I am constantly telling her what a good girl she is and how much I love her, to which she replies (after giving me one of her heart-melting smiles) very matter-of-factly "Thank you Mommy! Because big girls don't cry. Babies cry, and I'm a big girl." Well, there you have it!
Last night, like every other night (along with every other 2 1/2 year old in the world) she was stalling bed time. I was so tickled with all of her "reasons" to come out of her room which included:
I find comfort in knowing that even though my life is very hectic, and at times stressful and trying, I end each day tucking in the 3 most precious things in my life, forgetting about everything that has happened just to let them know that they are MY LIFE and that I love them. I give them kisses & hugs, read stories (or sometimes listen as they read to me), tuck them in, and then give more kisses. I end every night feeling calm, peaceful, and complete. I am so thankful for my little cherubs. For who they are, for what they do, and (most of all) for the most awesome gift I have ever been given, being their mother.
I've said it before, and I'll say it (and think it) until the day that I die, I LOVE being a mom. Yes, it has its (daily) challenges, and yes, sometimes I want to jump off a cliff, but at the end of every day, as I kiss my kiddos goodnight and tuck them in, I am at peace. I am without question, without hesitation, truly and honestly happy and complete with where I am in life.
I
Just some recent examples of things that have made me so proud to be mother to my sweet little cherubs:
Paige, my strong willed, outgoing, too-mature-for-her-own-age child, recently made my jaw drop to the floor in amazement during a conversation this weekend. All summer, I have been...um...enticing...Paige & Coleton to behave for their summer sitter by promising an END-OF-SUMMER sleepover with a friend of their choice. (School starts next week!) This past week, Paige had been calling her friends to see which of them she wanted to invite. After she chose, she called up her friend and invited her. Her friend said that she could come, and that she would call her on Friday for directions and further instructions. All day Friday , Paige waited on pins & needles for her friend to call. When I asked her if her friend had called yet, Paige (who has spoken of NOTHING else all summer but this sleepover) said:
"No, she hasn't called yet. Maybe she won't call because sometimes parents change their minds. I can't really be mad at her because she can only do what her parent's allow. If she can't sleepover, it would just be nice if she would call me to let me know. Communication is very important."
Um, yeah. Like I said, my jaw was on the floor. This came from my daughter who CRIES at everything....and I do not use that word loosely....literally EVERYTHING. I can't believe how mature Paige handled the extreme upset that her friend hadn't called by the time she said she would. I was beaming with pride as I stood there and listened to my 10 year old daughter rationalizing possible scenarios as to why her friend hadn't called (all the while, I'm sure, trying to convince herself that she would still call.) As luck would have it, her friend DID end up calling (a few hours late) and the sleepover went off without a hitch...another milestone for my daughter, who in sleepovers past, has had such attitude that the "girls" are no longer on speaking terms by bed time. She continues to amaze me with her maturity and physically growth every day. Of her, I am so extremely proud.
Coleton, my sweet, yet trying, 8 year old goof-ball, never fails to make me smile. Though he more often than not these days fashions horns and a pointy red tail, he somehow manages to make them appear more angelic after a 10 minute time out. His ability to display comic relief after (or during) an offense, gets him off the hook from what ever crime he's committed, and (though I am not proud of my inability to remain firm to his punishment) I am so thrilled to know that his amazing personality will always shine through and help him, and those around him, push through trying times. He is my sensitive, sweet little boy, who still feels comfortable climbing in my lap to read a book or watch TV. Who, despite being surrounded by the cool neighborhood kids, still gives me a hug & kiss when I bring out a snack and tells me I'm cool and that he loves me. My son, who tells me 3 times after I've already kissed him goodnight, that he wants one more hug. My natural born athlete, who has difficulty reading, a short fuse leading to emotional meltdowns, and the ability to charm a room full of strangers. I love him more than words can say.
And Jadyn. Oh my sweet little girl. How did we ever live without you? There isn't a single moment in any day that I don't just look at her and think, "My gosh. I love her." I don't think that there is any pleasure on this earth greater than watching a child grow. From the moment they are born, everything they do, everything they say is simply awesome. I think from the moment she was born, I knew I would cherish her growth the most. Not because I love her more, but because I know she is my last baby. Her first's will be my last, and I knew that every "first" would be tied together with my memories of last firsts. Her first year of life was trying...she was such a difficult and colicky baby. But now...my goodness...she brings me such joy. She is such a good little girl...so smart, so funny, and such an angel. Her facial gestures are so animated...you need not ever question how she's feeling. Her memory is so sharp, a characteristic I don't remember with Paige or Coleton at this age, and she can recite conversations or sentences from books only read once even a week after they were said. Her thought process is just precious...already proving to have a "type A" personality, by asking me to plan out the day as soon as her little eyes open, or asking, "And when I wake up....?" (waiting for me to finish her sentence). She is the most well-behaved, level headed, and well-rounded 2 year old I have ever met. She very rarely throws tantrums, she listens very well to everything we say, is EXTREMELY polite & well mannered, and just plain good. I am constantly telling her what a good girl she is and how much I love her, to which she replies (after giving me one of her heart-melting smiles) very matter-of-factly "Thank you Mommy! Because big girls don't cry. Babies cry, and I'm a big girl." Well, there you have it!
Last night, like every other night (along with every other 2 1/2 year old in the world) she was stalling bed time. I was so tickled with all of her "reasons" to come out of her room which included:
- Coleton is not going to bed
- Paige is not sleeping
- Magenta (her beta) was hungry
- She needed me to draw her a cat on her chalkboard
- We needed to turn off our TV and go to bed (so she could sneak in our bed, I'm sure)
- She needed a tiny bit of water. Just a little so she wouldn't pee her bed. (she really said that!)
- Delylah & KC (our dogs) weren't in their bed.
- We needed to watch Coraline (a movie), so she put it on our dresser.
- Coleton is not going to bed (she liked that excuse)
- I have to go potty.
- One more story?
- Mommy, will you rock me a little bit? (using her thumb & pointer finger to show me a "little bit)
- I don't want to close my eyes
- I want my light on
- I want my light off
- Erase my cat (on the chalkboard that she wanted me to draw)
- Can I have a little bit of water?
I find comfort in knowing that even though my life is very hectic, and at times stressful and trying, I end each day tucking in the 3 most precious things in my life, forgetting about everything that has happened just to let them know that they are MY LIFE and that I love them. I give them kisses & hugs, read stories (or sometimes listen as they read to me), tuck them in, and then give more kisses. I end every night feeling calm, peaceful, and complete. I am so thankful for my little cherubs. For who they are, for what they do, and (most of all) for the most awesome gift I have ever been given, being their mother.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
That Wascally Wabbit
Remember when we found a rabbit in our house, and we let it go? If not, click HERE to read about it)
I'm starting to think that was a bad idea...not that there were any other options than to let it go, only that now I am dealing with the repercussions of having a wild rabbit near by.
I have a garden. It's small, but producing, and I am proud. I have been anxiously awaiting the ripening of my 3 (yes, only 3) tomatoes, and was ecstatic to see that one was turning red on Friday. I took a picture of it...here it is: Say it with me..."Awwwww!"
I went out on Sunday to check my little red jewel's progress...and to my shock, dismay and surprise, a rabbit had eaten 1/2. I did my best to save and relish what little was left, however the only part not tainted was still green. Alas...I must wait for my remaining 2 beauties to ripen.
As if losing my prize winning fruit wasn't enough, I checked my yummy watermelons yesterday (also due to harvest within a month) and another critter (or perhaps the same) had helped itself to one as well. Fortunately, I am not so upset about my melon because, unlike my fickle tomatoes, my watermelons are producing well. I have more growing on those vines than I'll probably be able to force down. This is what they look like so far: (They're the Sugar Baby watermelons, so "personal" sized)
As Elmo was leaving for work this morning, he swears he saw that same "Peter Cottontail" rabbit that we let go sneak under our fence and hop away.
We will be installing a 2nd fence tomorrow afternoon in good faith that it will keep out that Wascally Wabbit and his friends.
Monday, July 13, 2009
4th of July
I can't believe it's been so long since I last posted here...things have been crazy to say the least, and there just don't seem to be enough hours in the day to accomplish all of the things I need to do. Blogging seems to be one of the many things that have taken a back seat, and for that I am sorry, as this particular blog also serves as my mothering journal.
We went to a local "park" this year in Litchfield and braved all elements...fire ants, 110° heat, lack of entertainment...and came out with a few good memories to record.
We made shirts to mark the occasion, sadly I can't see that Paige wore hers when I snapped her picture. Paige's said "Fouth of July" with a flag, Jadyn's (made by me) had stars and fireworks...and Coleton's, well, I'm still not sure what his was. Originally, it was supposed to be fireworks (at least, that's what he drew as a blueprint), but when he saw that there was also GLOW IN THE DARK paint, that was pretty much all he used. Boys.
Anyway, we had fun eating icies and playing with a beach ball, but I was very disappointed that there weren't more activities there to entertain the kids while they waited for the show. I guess it's just another reminder how poor the economy is right now, and I should just be thankful that there even WAS a show to attend. Even though it was only about 10-15 minutes long, most neighboring cities didn't even have one.
Jadyn Dancing to Music, showing off her shirt:
Jadyn's EYES...O..M..G....
Coleton sporting his new "do" (shaved off the mowhawk) and "duds":
Jadyn being patriotic during the Star Spangled Banner (she was so HOT, thus the look):
Paige and all her beauty:
Coleton being...well....Coleton:
Poor hot baby. This was right before we got snow cones:
Beautiful moon.
Jet fly over
Pretty sunset
FIREWORKS!!!
We went to a local "park" this year in Litchfield and braved all elements...fire ants, 110° heat, lack of entertainment...and came out with a few good memories to record.
We made shirts to mark the occasion, sadly I can't see that Paige wore hers when I snapped her picture. Paige's said "Fouth of July" with a flag, Jadyn's (made by me) had stars and fireworks...and Coleton's, well, I'm still not sure what his was. Originally, it was supposed to be fireworks (at least, that's what he drew as a blueprint), but when he saw that there was also GLOW IN THE DARK paint, that was pretty much all he used. Boys.
Anyway, we had fun eating icies and playing with a beach ball, but I was very disappointed that there weren't more activities there to entertain the kids while they waited for the show. I guess it's just another reminder how poor the economy is right now, and I should just be thankful that there even WAS a show to attend. Even though it was only about 10-15 minutes long, most neighboring cities didn't even have one.
Jadyn Dancing to Music, showing off her shirt:
Jadyn's EYES...O..M..G....
Coleton sporting his new "do" (shaved off the mowhawk) and "duds":
Jadyn being patriotic during the Star Spangled Banner (she was so HOT, thus the look):
Paige and all her beauty:
Coleton being...well....Coleton:
Poor hot baby. This was right before we got snow cones:
Beautiful moon.
Jet fly over
Pretty sunset
FIREWORKS!!!
Friday, May 22, 2009
Playing Catch Up - Last day of school
I can't believe I am so far behind on blogging our recent adventures! Not much has been happening, we're kind of chugging along with our daily routines...
Today is the last day of school for Paige & Coleton. It went by so fast, though I'm sure the kids would beg to differ! This week was all about F-U-N and play, so it's no surprise that I didn't have to drag the kids out of bed at all this week. Wednesday was the "big" fun day for both the kids, so I decided to spend it with them, both as a last "HURRAH" and to thank their teachers for all of their hard work.
Since both kids have summer birthdays, they don't ever get to celebrate with their friends. We always try to have a party, but we get lucky if 1-2 kids show up for each. Luckily, this year, both Paige & Coleton's teachers felt is was a good idea to celebrate the summer birthdays early (thanks), so I baked cakes for both kids. Paige also had a "pot luck" lunch/read-a-thon in her class that day, and Coleton was having a pizza party/movie day/water day, so I was very busy running from class to class to make sure I spent an even amount of time with them both. It was a great (HOT) day, and I am so glad that, for once, they were able to have their whole class sing happy birthday to them and feel special...if only for a moment!
They get out at 10:50 today, so Elmo will be picking them up, taking them out to lunch to celebrate another year past, and then maybe a movie. It's so hard for me to believe that Paige, my sweet little (once 6 lbs 4 oz) girl will be hitting double digits next month AND starting her last year of elementary school. It is so bitter sweet; I really miss her tiny little body climbing up on my lap to cuddle, her sweet voice chatting away, her giggles, and innocence/trust. On the other hand, it is such a privelage to see my sweet baby growing up to become her own person, sharing her opinions and views, carrying on conversations, dealing with her own problems (however trivial) and growing into a very kind and compassionate, people pleasing young lady.
Time is flying by way too fast.
Today is the last day of school for Paige & Coleton. It went by so fast, though I'm sure the kids would beg to differ! This week was all about F-U-N and play, so it's no surprise that I didn't have to drag the kids out of bed at all this week. Wednesday was the "big" fun day for both the kids, so I decided to spend it with them, both as a last "HURRAH" and to thank their teachers for all of their hard work.
Since both kids have summer birthdays, they don't ever get to celebrate with their friends. We always try to have a party, but we get lucky if 1-2 kids show up for each. Luckily, this year, both Paige & Coleton's teachers felt is was a good idea to celebrate the summer birthdays early (thanks), so I baked cakes for both kids. Paige also had a "pot luck" lunch/read-a-thon in her class that day, and Coleton was having a pizza party/movie day/water day, so I was very busy running from class to class to make sure I spent an even amount of time with them both. It was a great (HOT) day, and I am so glad that, for once, they were able to have their whole class sing happy birthday to them and feel special...if only for a moment!
They get out at 10:50 today, so Elmo will be picking them up, taking them out to lunch to celebrate another year past, and then maybe a movie. It's so hard for me to believe that Paige, my sweet little (once 6 lbs 4 oz) girl will be hitting double digits next month AND starting her last year of elementary school. It is so bitter sweet; I really miss her tiny little body climbing up on my lap to cuddle, her sweet voice chatting away, her giggles, and innocence/trust. On the other hand, it is such a privelage to see my sweet baby growing up to become her own person, sharing her opinions and views, carrying on conversations, dealing with her own problems (however trivial) and growing into a very kind and compassionate, people pleasing young lady.
Time is flying by way too fast.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Bath time
As I type, Paige is VOLUNTARILY playing with Jadyn in the tub...sans bribery, threats, or my asking!
I am surrounded by the sound of the sweetest little giggles and voices. What ever big sister Paige is doing my 2 year old finds it absolutely hilarious.
It's times like this that make me beam with pride and inner peace; a smile overcomes my face as I eavesdrop on their conversation:
Paige: "Jadyn, did you know you have a freckle on your butt?"
Jadyn: "No, my not!" (translation, no I don't)
P: "yes you do. It's tiny."
J: "oh. it's tiny? Oh."
P: Let's finish washing your hair."
J: "Paige, you want to play in my rooooom?"
P: "Sure. Let's finish your bath first."
J: "OK. I done now. We go play."
P: "Ok. Let me get you a towel."
J: "Paige? I have a fekkle on my butt?"
P: "Yep!"
Got to love kids. Such a simple, sweet, innocent, and informative conversation!
I am surrounded by the sound of the sweetest little giggles and voices. What ever big sister Paige is doing my 2 year old finds it absolutely hilarious.
It's times like this that make me beam with pride and inner peace; a smile overcomes my face as I eavesdrop on their conversation:
Paige: "Jadyn, did you know you have a freckle on your butt?"
Jadyn: "No, my not!" (translation, no I don't)
P: "yes you do. It's tiny."
J: "oh. it's tiny? Oh."
P: Let's finish washing your hair."
J: "Paige, you want to play in my rooooom?"
P: "Sure. Let's finish your bath first."
J: "OK. I done now. We go play."
P: "Ok. Let me get you a towel."
J: "Paige? I have a fekkle on my butt?"
P: "Yep!"
Got to love kids. Such a simple, sweet, innocent, and informative conversation!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
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